Go for the Prize – No Matter What!

March 7th, 2016 by elaine

Go for it!  Because you want it, you know it, you really do.  Because you know you don’t deserve it but it’s right there, it’s available, yours for the taking.  Just do it no matter what.

O.K. It’s not easy.  Nothing in life is easy.  Sometimes it hurts.  Sometimes you feel ashamed.  But it feels so good when you get close, like maybe you deserve it, maybe you really do.  He (or she) makes you feel so special.

And sometimes so awful.  It must be your fault.  You know, you’re a sissy, you can’t take it, you really don’t want it, not at that price.  Oh come on, get real.  That’s life.  You have to take the bad along with the good.  And really, it’s mostly good or it’s going to be mostly good when you get the prize.  Think of it, think of how special you’ll feel knowing the prize is yours.

So he hit you, so he choked you.  So what!  He didn’t mean anything by it.  It was a game.  You took it the wrong way.  Yeah, it was scary but now as you think about it, you were stupid to get so upset.  He didn’t mean to scare you.  He didn’t mean to hurt you.  He’s such a nice guy.  He’s so cute, and sooooo famous.   He’s a star!  And he likes YOU!

Send him an email.  Tell him you love his hands.  Tell him you want to see him again.  Go for the prize  – No Matter What!  (Reprise – as in music):

Me, I’m watching the news.  I’m very interested in the trial of J.G. who has been accused by several women of sexual assault, choking, punching – that sort of thing.  He is defended by a woman famous for successfully defending famous people who have, one way or another, hurt other people.  Since J.G. attempted to forestall any harm from the accusations he knew were going to be public, he himself published a statement on Facebook explaining that his acts of “rough” sex were always done with the consent of the other.  Woman lawyer has no option other than to destroy the credibility of the innocent victims, accusing them of lying and suggesting they are conniving.

Fortunately her client has saved emails from his admirers.  Bingo, the I love your hands.  I want to see you again.

What?  I am shocked!  How could she?  It takes a while – way longer than it should, for me to realize the vulnerability we all have to seduction.  We can be seduced so easily -  from  It’s free, call now for your…… to…..this barely used car is in perfect condition. From the boss treating us with kindness, smiling in a certain way, making us feel special, brighter, more hard working than anyone else, more creative.  Easy!

From the gorgeous woman you (a guy) didn’t think knew you existed smiling with her eyes at you, inviting you to help her at something urgent, calling you, with enormous gratitude My Hero!! And taking it on and upwards from there.

Like myself:  I drop into a designer’s small shop hoping to find something off the rack, maybe on sale, to wear to a very special event.  She is so happy for me, about the event, she cannot contain herself.  I’m going to make you something! I am in awe.  She will not tell me what she has in mind, she is going to surprise me.  I cautiously ask, What if I don’t like it?

She replies, You’re going to love it! And I “buy” it!

And I did. I bought it. But I did not love it.  I didn’t even like it.  And I didn’t have the nerve to not pay her for her work (she gave me a special price because I’m special.  It was way more than “off the rack” and not on sale.) I did insist that she make certain changes, and she did produce something I would wear.  But it – not the garment, the seduction – was ugly.  I felt ashamed of myself.

This seduction no way measures up to a sexual asault, choking, pounding, or battering by a determined lawyer.  The process is the same.  A seducer is a seducer all the time. A seducer is a seducer when he or she is in a role of power or prestige or popularity and discounts the fact that he or she has that role – it’s solely because of his or her charm (we are all vulnerable) – and yet the seducer knows full-well what he or she can get easily because of his or her position.  A seducer is a seducer is a seducer……

And those who say, or think, as I did for a while Why did she go back for more, why did he fall for that, why didn’t he and she and you and I resist?

Because it’s a challenge, because the prize is so tempting and seems so available;  and sure it may be hard, it may be painful, there may be shame, but nothing is cheap.  You pay the price and…..what do you get?  What IS the prize?

©Elaine A. Zimbel 2016

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